The Magnolia Story

This eBook includes the full text of the book plus

You are here: Home - Books - Agnes and the Hitman

Agnes and the Hitman

Agnes and the Hitman By Jennifer Crusie Bob Mayer Agnes and the Hitman Take one food writer named Cranky Agnes add a hitman named Shane mix them together with a Southern mob wedding a missing necklace two annoyed flamingos and a dog named Rhett and you ve got a reci

  • Title: Agnes and the Hitman
  • Author: Jennifer Crusie Bob Mayer
  • ISBN: 9780312363048
  • Page: 277
  • Format: Hardcover
  • Agnes and the Hitman By Jennifer Crusie Bob Mayer Take one food writer named Cranky Agnes, add a hitman named Shane, mix them together with a Southern mob wedding, a missing necklace, two annoyed flamingos, and a dog named Rhett and you ve got a recipe for a sexy, hilarious novel about the disastrous side of true love Agnes Crandall s life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her aTake one food writer named Cranky Agnes, add a hitman named Shane, mix them together with a Southern mob wedding, a missing necklace, two annoyed flamingos, and a dog named Rhett and you ve got a recipe for a sexy, hilarious novel about the disastrous side of true love Agnes Crandall s life goes awry when a dognapper invades her kitchen one night, seriously hampering her attempts to put on a wedding that she s staked her entire net worth on Then a hero climbs through her bedroom window His name is Shane, no last name, just Shane, and he has his own problems he s got a big hit scheduled, a rival trying to take him out, and an ex mobster uncle asking him to protect some little kid named Agnes When he finds out that Agnes isn t so little, his uncle has forgotten to mention a missing five million bucks he might have lost in Agnes s house, and his last hit was a miss, Shane s life isn t looking so good, either Then a bunch of lowlifes come looking for the money, a string of hit men show up for Agnes, and some wedding guests gather with intent to throw than rice Agnes and Shane have their hands full with greed, florists, treachery, flamingos, mayhem, mothers of the bride, and most dangerous of all each other Agnes and the Hitman is the perfect combination of sugar and spice, sweet and salty a novel of delicious proportions.
    Agnes and the Hitman By Jennifer Crusie Bob Mayer

    Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer Crusie In Agnes and the Hitman romance isn t the most important thing It s just there for no reason It would have worked without it too There are so many things that happen in this book, it s a bit overwhelming You might find yourself thinking oh, come on than once There are assassins, secrets rooms, lots of money, mafia, a wedding someone wants to sabotage, boat chases, explosions, both horrible and not Agnes and the Hitman A Novel Crusie, Jennifer, Mayer This book is a deliciously chaotic but fun crime caper and really shows off Jennifer Crusie s humour and how well she and Bob Mayer work together Agnes, given the moniker of Cranky Agnes , is feisty than cranky and she is funny and despite her issues, someone you want to be like. Agnes name Agnes and the Bernardin legacy Sep , Agnes later came to know Steve Cook, and submitted an affidavit in support of his suit Before he died, Cook told Agnes he was writing a book to tell the truth about his abuse, and he gave a different account of his lawsuit retraction than the one publicly accepted. Mother Agnes Mary Donovan and the best decision she ever hours agoMother Agnes outside with her sisters Q When Cardinal O Connor wrote his Help Wanted Sisters of Life letter, what prompted you to answer his call to join the new order A I knew that I had been called to live a contemplative life As a young person coming of age, I, along with the nation, had experienced the passage of Roe v. Agnes On and On Official Music Video YouTube Mar , Taken from the album Dance Love Pop Stream Download Follow Agnes on Social Media AGNES is on Instagram posts on their profile AGNES Cantora e tudo que a arte permitir que eu seja Shows baguarecords Publi agnesnunes mynd OUA So Paulo youtu ZcspsVMiuo Agnes Animal Crossing Wiki St Agnes and St Rose of Lima Parishes Roman Catholic Collaborative serving the communities of Boxford, Middleton, and Topsfield on the North Shore of Massachusetts. Agnes Dora Size Fit Relaxed Fit Short Sleeve from High Point Shoulder Hip Length Model is wearing a size small XXS XXXL Product Details % Modal, % Cotton

    • ☆ Agnes and the Hitman Ñ Jennifer Crusie Bob Mayer
      277 Jennifer Crusie Bob Mayer

    One thought on “Agnes and the Hitman

    1. Tammy on said:

      your ass is grass and I am a John Deere super classic riding lawn mower with a V6 engine and a double cutting blade, do I make myself clear Agnes Crandall a k a Cranky AgnesDon t you just love Jennifer Crusie s dry sense of humor Things turn south for Agnes Crandall s wedding catering business when a dognapper invades her kitchen holding a gun Agnes whallops him upside the head with a castiron skillet, knocking him thru a hidden door in her kitchen and killing him An unexpected hero Shane arrive [...]

    2. Algernon on said:

      To Do List, she thought Feed cast of thousands, several of whom are killers and one of whom is an underage dognapper now living illegally in my barn Plan flamingo wedding Remember not to screw hitman s brains out again even though he s really hot Find nice normal guy without gun permit Take revenge on the sleazy bitch who s trying to swindle me out of my dream house,It was going to be a very busy day.This is screwball comedy at its best, a very entertaining surprise for my summer read list, a re [...]

    3. Jim on said:

      I gave 4 stars to a romantic, comedic, murder mystery Amazing, but so was the book It was the great combination of setting, mystery, especially the characters starting with Agnes.Angry Agnes is pretty, a wonderful cook, wears black rimmed glasses She s smart an author really a nice person, but she tends to see red occasionally a dangerous combination as she spends a lot of time in the kitchen where sharp implements heavy pans tend to be at hand One of the things I liked the most is that while th [...]

    4. LibraryLass on said:

      I thoroughly enjoyed this book I enjoyed Crusie Mayer s first book Don t look back as well but this was better Agnes and Shane were wonderful Just enough baggage and angst to keep the chemistry lively I thought the supporting cast of characters was awesome My favourites being LL and Garth I wouldn t class this as a mystery or romance but there is enough of both to satisfy readers of both genres I would call this a fun read It was great Can t wait for the next one Ppl should read this for what it [...]

    5. Ilona Andrews on said:

      Warning written as a reader not as an author.Agnes is a cranky southern lady, who cooks mostly Italian, go figure and writes a cooking column for a local newspaper Despite the fact that the best way to the man s heart is through his stomach, Agnes has been unlucky in love Her current beau is no exception from the get go, her fiance is pretty much a douchebag While some people might have a problem with a heroine holding on to a man like that, I ve seen plenty of real women cling to relationship d [...]

    6. Allison on said:

      This book was a pleasant surprise It s a great mix of chick lit and suspense Full of murders, cooking, mobsters, and wedding prep a combo that worked, believe it or not, and gave me plenty to chew on, keeping track of it all It even earned a few chuckles from me which is not easy, since I hardly ever get things that are supposed to be funny.

    7. Bonnie on said:

      The StorylineAgnes is not your normal chick lit heroine The fact that she s known as Cranky Agnes could give you an idea The fact that she s used a frying pan in ways than just cooking I ll give you a hint, one guy now has a metal plate in his head could also give you another idea There s also an incident with a meat fork but I won t spoil the fun for you Or maybe it s the mental conversations she has with her therapist Fuck you, Agnes said, bent over the edge of the cake.Angry language, Agnes. [...]

    8. Marie on said:

      5 stars Have you ever read a book that you finish but within 2 4 days you are ready to read it again This is that book for me I have loved several books in my lifetime This book was easily one of my favorite books ever.I think between the humor, violence, humor again, romance, friendships, minor characters, and even the dog, between it all I fell in love with this book Agnes is a cookbook author She also has a column about cooking titled Cranky Agnes She is armed and dangerous, with a frying pan [...]

    9. Rebbie on said:

      This is a fast paced romantic comedy with a protagonist that s funny and refreshing in her own special, anger filled way If you like physical comedy in books, romance with vivid sexual descriptions I mean like really vivid , and murder whodunit mysteries with a dash of rich bitch and a dollop of Italian gangsters thrown in, then this book is for you.Not that it matters, but I personally didn t care for the explicit lust because I m a fuddy duddy who prefers much subtlety, old fashioned courtshi [...]

    10. Cyndi on said:

      This book was so cute Granted, there are a lot of people getting killed, but it was still cute.Agnes is determined to have her goddaughter s wedding at her new house that is being refurbished Meanwhile we have a crazy granny who keeps putting up barriers, old mob bosses, dead bodies, stollen loot, and a hot hitman.Agnes just keeps juggling all these things around while alternating the use of her frypan with cooking breakfast and hitting bad guys in the head.Important lesson never make the cook a [...]

    11. Jane Stewart on said:

      2 stars Some readers may find this fun, but it wasn t my kind of humor It had a slapstick quality.Brenda does many awful things to Agnes and others throughout the book Other bad guys are also doing bad things But nothing is provable so no cop does anything or they don t look for evidence The purpose is to give Agnes setbacks and problems to solve Her responses and reactions are the best part of the story Agnes is free with her anger She hits and threatens with frying pans and meat forks But she [...]

    12. Bark on said:

      Narrator Sandra BurrLength 12 hours and 9 minutesPublished by Brilliance Audio, August 2007We all know a narrator can make or break an audiobook What I didn t know was that studio effects can do it too Narrator Sandra Burr does a decent job with the characters here I can tell who is who and that is always a bonus when a book contains too many zany characters Burr s narration of Agnes is a little too upbeat at times Agnes is supposed to be cranky but for the most part she is pretty spot on The li [...]

    13. Gail on said:

      It is kind of hard to categorize this book by Jennifer Crusie and Bob Mayer It s a sassy chick lit meets hardboiled adventure novel meets screwball comedy I read their first book Don t Look Down and just about laughed my butt off This one is even better, the action and narrative are tighter and continuous These two very divergent writers are on to something.Agnes is Cranky Agnes the nationally syndicated food columnist and cook book author, living in South Carolina in the house of her dreams a [...]

    14. MrsJoseph on said:

      bookslifewine r agnes and 5 star read Angry welts on the face Agnes and her hot raspberry sauce.Blood underneath the dirty hair Agnes and her frying pan.Neck twisted and broken Agnes and her unknown basement with no stairs.Joey s Little Agnes didn t need protecting, but he might stay and put up some warning signs for unsuspecting intruders Something like BEWARE OF THE COOK or AGNES KILLS What can I say I love this book Agnes came around the counter, her arms full of food, looking like she had ev [...]

    15. DeliaC on said:

      it s to be expected that something changes when a writer you re used to pairs up with someone from an entirely different genre some of the old pop and sizzle disappears to make room for the new writer s style and strengths ok but i have to say that this was a miss for meusie s novels strengths aren t in elaborate plots but in outlining the relationships between her very un neurotic hero heroine in ways that don t seem forced or unreal her characters are snappy, funny, cranky, quotidian people wh [...]

    16. J Ho Lo on said:

      this review won t make sense to some people but I don t care lol Agnes is cranky.Brenda s a conniving bitch.Shane to the rescue.

    17. Rebecca McNutt on said:

      Exciting, fun, weird and unexpectedly gripping, Agnes and the Hitman is very impressive and reminiscent of One for the Money in its style and wit.

    18. Lightreads on said:

      Cranky food columnist collides with hitman while trying to plan a wedding sparks and flamingos fly.Fun, zaney There s no serious internal relationship conflict here, just a shrieking heap of mob enforcers and difficult relatives and frying pans to the head And flamingos This book is one half domestic hilarity and one half cartoonishly violent splatterfest, which was a bit odd, I will admit But having read only two Crusie books, I already know that she is a no brakes funny lady who has the skill [...]

    19. Book Concierge on said:

      The dialogue is trite The sex is bland The characters are cardboard cutouts The plot is inane and unbelievable It seems that the author s can t figure out what kind of book this is Is it a comic crime caper A mystery A romance A mafia thriller A cooking cozy Bodies pile up left and right, plot lines disintegrate or appear from thin air Even the editing is bad the electricity goes out, thanks to a bad guy who did something to the power, but early the next morning Agnes is in the kitchen using her [...]

    20. P๏€cɨℓią* ~SLiTsRead on said:

      3.5A little cray cray and a little far fetched but that s the style the book was going for I can t say I m in love with it but it s a matter of personal taste.What also made this book different was the missing of swoon worthy heroes, and star crossing love Every character felt like regular people well except psychotic Brenda There was romance and yet there wasn t It was real and efficient, yet you felt the chemistry between the characters Overall, I enjoyed the humor and the interesting twist ev [...]

    21. Julie on said:

      Unexpectedly, this has turned into a book on my favs shelf Very quirky and odd it somehow really worked Agnes cracked me up and Shane sigh just loved how he always had her back Great read two thumbs up

    22. WhiskeyintheJar/Kyraryker on said:

      Ok first off be prepared for one hell of a wild ride when you read this This is the best warning I can give you for this book.It starts off somewhat slow and picks up around four or five chapters in Then oh boy the action and cast of characters storm you, and yes at times bowl you over.Agnes was sometimes too crazy for me to connect with She doesn t exactly react to situations like a normal person would Frying pans anyone However, this could be why she was so fun to read about.Shane was simply h [...]

    23. Dianne on said:

      Agnes and the Hitman by Jennifer CrusieOut of all the books that Jennifer and Bob have written together, I have to tell you THIS one is the only one I think is worth reading Not only reading once, but also re reading repeatedly I don t know how many times I have re read this book, and I m still as in love with the story and the characters as I am the very first time I read it This is a sexy, funny, mysterious read and a bit of a roller coaster ride This is a story containing major deceptions, we [...]

    24. Punk on said:

      Action Romance Agnes is very busy trying to plan her god daughter s wedding, make cupcakes, and meet her article deadline when some pipsqueak with a gun busts into her house and demands her dog Agnes doesn t take well to this and cracks him on the head with a frying pan Suddenly she s got a hot new bodyguard and each day brings at least two attempts on her life Agnes is tough, but it doesn t hurt that Shane is really good at his job.I liked this book a lot better than their first one This one fe [...]

    25. Belmanoir on said:

      This book was awesome I loved the minor characters, especially Garth, and heroines with anger management issues are right up there with geeky heroes and galley slaves in my Top Ten Romance Turn Ons, and believe me, there are NOT ENOUGH heroines with anger management issues So love, love, love, also I am DYING for the apron now cafepress shopcherry.1 It was a pretty good mix of romance and action, the action plot was exciting, and the plot twist made me VERY happy I did feel like the romance was [...]

    26. Keris on said:

      My head hurts from trying to explain any aspect of this story without giving something away, but it s not so complicated when you read it, honest okay, it s a little bit complicated, but, like Janet Evanovich s books, if you don t struggle to place everyone and just let it all wash over you instead, it all becomes clear in the end Plus and you ll know this if you read Crusie s blog there are flamingoes.I liked Agnes the Hitman even better than Don t Look Down and I liked Don t Look Down a lot Ag [...]

    27. Ana on said:

      Podem ler a opini o completa no Floresta de Livros.This book was even crazier than I expect and I loved every bit of it.The plot is complete nonsense Everything the reader imagines could happen, actually happens, and then the authors add a few twists to it, making it a crazy fest.The characters are amazing Love them to bits, even if they are all a bit wrong in the head.Even if Brenda s case was pretty straightforward, after the middle of the book, things with Shane kept surprising me right unti [...]

    28. Hollie on said:

      I made it to the 40% mark and unfortunately I m going to have to declare this one a DNF I was looking for a funny romantic comedy, and while this one had potential to be that, I just found it absolutely ridiculous It was way too over the top for me I expect that to an extent in this genre, but this one was just too far fetched for my preference Beyond clich The one thing I did like was Agnes, the heroine I really enjoyed her anger issues I also feel this book is WAY overpriced at 7.99 And that s [...]

    Leave a Reply

    Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *